Today is the 7 year anniversary since my friend sucide and my aunt death ...Im feeling soo depressed right now..It just reminds me that nothing can be perfect ever. There always something that comes up and destroys it. I don't even shoudler to cry on.. and everyone seems to be snapping at me.....
Don't i have a right to feel upset?
i've been bottling things alot of things lately.. and i can't seem to express my self ... i want everything just to be ok.... =( tonight i just feel really hurt. really hurt. =*(. i wish i had someone to tlak to right now. Just explain how i feel deep inside. I promised myself i would start bottling everything up from my boyfriend, but it seems... i feel more hurt and lost more than ever. I;m starting to build my shell again. i dont want anyone near me or to be hurt by anyone.
I have beening feeling in a way i have been doing things wrong in the relationship and i can't do anythign right... so i haven;t been expressing any feeling toawrds him. I'll just let him do his thing and ill do mine..
I think what i asked him today made me hurt than ever before i went to bed. I would try to involve him but he turns it away(not the right moment). but when he has time to does it............ he doens't involve me in it. I felt like crap.. i don't even do this right.. maybe this is the end....
I been feeling more neglected than ever... and i can't even tell him I feeling hurt... and i can't stop the crying.... staying up all these nights..
choking into saying...... i just want you to pay more attention to me.
I hate being told what to do..............I can make my own decisions, i do have a brain. DO i make you follow or force you into doing things? Think about it.. When have i ever made you..
Quiet and self-reserved as I am, I don’t tend to say much. I’m one of those people with too many thoughts buzzing through my head and somehow manage to keep it all inside. But if you get to know me well enough with time, you’ll find how much more open I can be =). I speak Vietnamese with my parents and if necessary, I throw in a bit of english here and there. I’m someone who doesn’t like to dwell in the past; it’s much easier just living life day by day with what it already has to offer you. I'm an athletic person....so working out is my favorite hobby, the gym is like my 2nd home. I'm sometimes a bit too tolerant and indecisive for my own good, but that's slowly changing with time And to say the least, my lovely friends and family are a major contribution to my life and shaping me to who I am today =D. I’m extremely restless and sometimes find it difficult to stay on task or concentrate on one thing. As for school, well... procrastination. Enough said =P. Who doesn't? Just taking the time to enjoy the very simple things in life can easily bring you relaxation and contentment, in my opinion anyway. Oh, and if you happen to see this girl randomly trip on a nicely evened out pavement/sidewalk with no cracks or holes to its name, that would most likely be me. Anything else? Reality’s the way to go =D
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